October 2009
211 posts
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The Bear Jew is the greatest thing since sliced bread, which he invented and sliced with his bat.
via shredasaurus
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Unlike Meatloaf, The Bear Jew will do anything for love, and he will do that.
via 81anna
September 2009
537 posts
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The Bear Jew got thrown out of the sperm bank because all of the other people their were jealous.
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The Bear Jew can do that on television.
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The Bear Jew is the number of roads a man must walk down before you can call him a man.
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The Bear Jew fought the law and won.
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The Bear Jew is the only living organism that can thrive and multiply everywhere on earth, be it in the desolate cold of Antarctica or the humid heat of the Amazon. But where’s the fun in that?
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So called ‘baby booms’ DO NOT signify good times and periods of general economic growth and stability, the Bear Jew was just on vacation in those regions.
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The Bear Jew consists of 50% nazikillin’, 24% BAMF Bostonian, 32% fur and 4% creamy blueberry filling.
Note: You may say “Hey, that’s 110%.” And I say “It’s the Bear Jew. No one cares if it’s 110%.”
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The Bear Jew doesn’t keep a Naughty or Nice list, one look at you and he’ll bash your head in anyways….
via Basterdette
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The Bear Jew is the reason the lights went out in Georgia.
via kmo813
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Anything you can do, the Bear Jew can do better.
The Bear Jew can do anything better than you.
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The Bear Jew shot before Greedo AND Han Solo.
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The 8th wonder of the world is the Bear Jew’s Bat - while the previous seven wonders are in fact the Bear Jew himself.
via untouchable
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Only the Bear Jew can rock you like a hurricane.
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The Star Wars quote May the force be with you was...
The original quote was: May the Bear Jew be with you
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“I worked myself up to tears and then never get to shoot it. So I was like,...”
– Eli Roth, on shooting the Bear Jew bat beating scene. (via fuckyeahbasterds)
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Contrary To Popular Belief...
God didn’t rest on the 7th day; he created The Bear Jew.
via Nicole J aka co984lfie
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The Bear Jew never catches colds.
He beats them off with a baseball bat.
via inkakrakowian
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The Big Bad Wolf is afraid of the Bear Jew.
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Ask not what the Bear Jew can do for you.
Ask what you can do for the Bear Jew!
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The Earth was created when the Bear Jew told Mother Nature, “Swallow This!”
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"There is more to life then being really, really,...
Yeah. Like beating the hell out of nazis.
And the Bear Jew is the only man who can pull both these feats off.
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The 2 main reasons why Madame Tussade’s hasn’t made the Bear Jew’s wax was beacause he was too damn hot that the wax would never harden and wax was too inferior for his sculpture anyway.
via CasslovesBJ.ER
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The Great Wall of China was in fact created to keep the Bear Jew from invading, not the Mongols.
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Kanye West thought he was cool… ‘til he got raped by the Jew Bear.
via Liz
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The Bear Jew’s favorite part of Valentine’s Day is Cinimon Hearts.
Oh, yours aren’t made from the hearts of Nazis?
…yeah, mine neither.
via anonymous
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Sticks and stones may break your bones but the Bear Jews words will kill you.
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Contrary to popular belief, a marriage can be anulled if the Bear Jew wants to sleep with your wife. The only reason she is still with you is because the Bear Jew doesn’t know her…yet.
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For the record...
“World of Warcraft: The Lich King” did NOT shatter the Bear Jew’s definition of epic. And when it failed to do so the Bear grabbed his bat and smashed the screen so hard the characters actually ran out of the screen screaming and the server went into melt down. Game over.
via tragickingdom
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This is a warning to Chuck Norris.
I think it’s about time you handed over the crown of dude containing the most epic win before The Bear Jew barges in, beats you to death and takes it from your crushed head. Consider your self warned.
via tragickingdom
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The original “Star Wars” saga was actually based on the week leading up to the Bear Jews bar mitzvah.
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When there is no more room in hell,
then the Bear Jew can go on a permanent vacation.
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On the contrary, O'Doyle does not rule. Donowitz...
And the banana peel did not kill them off. It was in fact the Bear Jew.
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The Bear Jew knocked out Darth Vader just by saying “Fuck A Duck.”
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The odds of pissing off the Bear Jew and him beating the hell out you for it is much higher, then the odds of you being attacked by a shark.
And when he is done, you wish it would have been a shark attack.
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The Bear Jews' watch has no number on the dial.
It just says “Time To Kill Some Nazis.”
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In fear of a beating, the Bear Jews’ alarm clock just waits for him to wake
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The Bear Jew wasn't born a virgin.
By the time he came out, he had been with more woman then Hugh Hefner.
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The Bear Jew has enough chest hair to warm an entire Iclandic village during the winter months and still have some left over to tease ONTD.
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The reason why 86.43% of all women are sexually unsatisfied is that the Bear Jew only has a limited ability to be at over 1000 places at once, but not everywhere at once.
