September 2009
537 posts
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“The Jews are more angry now about shit from seven thousand years ago than we...”
– Eli Roth (via tellallyourfriendsaboutme)
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Nails are as tough as the Bear Jew.
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The Bear Jew picks his teeth with a lightsaber.
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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
When life gives you the Bear Jew, you die.
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The Bear Jew does not go on walks. The Bear Jew goes on patrol.
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The Bear Jew needs three hands to pee.
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Lost in Translation
After WWII, it was quite common to hear people in Germany say, “Bear Jew”, rather than “Bless You”, after a person sneezed.
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Percentage of American men when asked said they...
Percentage of American men when asked said they would leave their wife to be with the Bear Jew: 100%
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Sometimes you feel like a nut,
the Bear Jew never does.
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Burger King lied. Only the Bear Jew can have it his way.
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Between love and madness lies the Bear Jew.
August 2009
112 posts
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The Bear Jew doesn’t like Sara Lee.
via youhaveworth
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The Bear Jew once made a Nazi propaganda film just so he could make all the Nazi extras sing to his parents Happy Birthday before he anihilated them as they watched his movie.
Truth. (Chelse Lately Interview, August 26, 2009)
via misfittoys
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The Bear Jew can eat just one Lays.
via anonymous
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The Bear Jew doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects the Bear Jew could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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When the Bear Jew gets pulled over he lets the cop off with a warning.
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5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off the Bear Jew.
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Rome wasn't built in a day.
But if the Bear Jew had assisted, it sure as hell would’ve been.
Bear Jew Facts →
zachfacts:
Hey, sister site. How you doing?
Cousin, business is a boomin’ :)
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23.
That is the number of nazis that the Bear Jew has beaten to death in the time it has taken you to read this.
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Remember when the Bear Jew wasn't so popular and...
Me neither.
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Chuck Norris cries himself to sleep at night thinking about the Bear Jew.
via winstonwolfe
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The Bear Jew doesn’t teabag. He potato-sacks.
via notsosuperjaimee
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The Bear Jew masturbates to pictures of himself.
via notsosuperjaimee
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Favorite snacks of the Bear Jew
The Bear Jew snacks on Cats & Sharks and doesn’t give a shit what you think.
via winstonwolfe
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The Bear Jew cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what the Bear Jew says.
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The Bear jew is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. The Bear Jew claims “6 Feet of Fun” is actually the trademark for his penis.
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“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the...”
– Ezekial 25:17 (Before it was edited.)
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When God said, “Let there be light”, the Bear Jew said, “say please.”
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The cheif export of the Bear Jew is pain.
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FACT
I love this tumblr! keep it up!
via natashavc
Thank You!
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The Bear Jew doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
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The last digit of pi is the Bear Jew. He is the end of all thing.
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Death once had a near-Bear-Jew experience.
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The Bear Jew secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
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The Bear Jew once had sex in the back of a semi truck and some of his semen escaped and fell on the floor of the truck. The result, Optimus Prime was made.
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On Valentine’s Day, the Bear Jew gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, the Bear Jew believes every day should be Valentine’s Day.
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There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and the Bear Jew.
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There is no Control button on the Bear Jews’ computer. The Bear Jew is always in control.
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Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Bear Jewisaurus.
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The Bear Jew got a perfect score on his SAT’s, simply by writing the Bear Jew for every answer.
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When the Bear Jew was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap the Bear Jew.
